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Five Things Your Friends Have in Common

When I look at the personalities of my friends, I see a tapestry. Each woman brings her own color and stroke to the canvas of my life, adding beauty in a way only she can. And while I believe God made each of us unique masterpieces, I also believe our core needs are strikingly similar.

I’ve been friends with extroverts. I’ve been friends with introverts. With artists. With engineers and teachers. Daughters, wives, and mothers. And there’s a strikingly similar pattern of need pulsing through us all. A story we need to be told, over and over.

My hope is that, as women, we won’t just experience life together. We’ll say the things that God would say to us if He were in our presence. They are the things He says to us in His word, things we were created to echo to one another.

These are five things every friend longs to hear:

  1. “You are beautiful.” 

    Yes, you. You in your sweatpants or dressed to the nines. But your beauty runs so much deeper than that. Your gifts, they’re beautiful. The way you work and love and live, it’s so beautiful. But even if you were none of these things, you’d be beautiful; you’d have worth in my eyes. Because you were marvelous from the beginning; a wonderful work, knit and woven together, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). Before you grew into all your outward beauty and in skill and stature and inward beauty, God said you were “good.” He made you, and you are beautiful.

  2. “I treasure you.” 

    I care for you. Our friendship – it means something to me. I look forward to getting coffee, to our movie and pajama dates. To making cookies and to your name popping up on my iPhone. I don’t take your time, and especially the way you share your heart with me, for granted. 

  3. “When you’re with me, it’s okay not to be okay.” 

    I just want you to know that I know your secret. You’re not perfect. I don’t mean that to be harsh. It’s an invitation to my club. I’m not perfect, either. And you know what? That’s okay. I feel like I can be fully myself with you. I hope you feel the same way, too. I don’t want you to feel like there are any pretenses here. I hope you’ll tell me if you ever feel like that’s so.

  4. “I’ll be there for you.” 

    I’m here now, and I’ll be there when things go bad. Or when they’re good, and you want to tell someone how good this day was and that the sun shone for you in the most perfect way and that you were just living. I’m not sure what the road ahead holds either. But you matter to me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to hold you up when you can’t do it on your own.

  5. Say nothing. Just listen.

    As a woman of words and ideas, I’m often preparing my response before someone finishes telling me what they’re experiencing. But sometimes we just need to be quiet; we just need to listen. With all the voices coming at us in this modern age, there is nothing more needed than a listening ear. Saying nothing and giving your whole self to listening can sometimes speak the loudest of your love for her.

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  • Reply Erin McDowell


    May 20, 2017 at 6:18 PM
  • Reply Irene Michuki

    Simply Beautiful…thanks for sharing

    May 27, 2017 at 5:23 AM
    • Reply Natalie Yerger

      Thank you, Irene! I hope you’ll keep reading. Glad to hear you found some beauty here.

      May 30, 2017 at 8:44 AM

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